Familial bond through breastfeeding in Islam

In Islamic, breastfeeding creates a bond considered as strong as a blood relationship. This "milk-kinship" establishes a familial tie comparable in closeness to biological family. when a child is nursed by a woman who is not their biological mother, a deep and enduring familial connection is established. This act of shared nourishment creates a profound link not only between the child and the nursing woman (who becomes the child's milk-mother), but also extends to her immediate family. This includes her husband (the child's milk-father), her biological children (who become the child's milk-siblings), and certain other designated relatives, all of whom then fall within the category of the child's milk-mahram. These milk-mahrams become an integral part of the child’s life, akin to their own blood relatives, and are treated with the same level of respect and intimacy that is afforded to one’s immediate family. 

These milk-mahrams, by virtue of the established milk-kinship, are accorded the same degree of respect, closeness, and intimacy as one's close blood relatives who are considered mahram. This translates into similar social interactions, including permissible levels of physical proximity, privacy in interactions, and the avoidance of any behavior that could be deemed inappropriate or compromising, mirroring the boundaries maintained with blood mahrams

The individuals who become milk-mahrams through the establishment of milk-kinship are treated with the same degree of reverence, familial closeness, and permissible intimacy as one’s immediate blood relatives who are also considered mahrams. This encompasses a range of social interactions and customs, reflecting the deep respect accorded to these familial ties. In Islamic jurisprudence, the familial bonds created through milk-kinship are esteemed as being just as sacred and binding as those established by consanguinity (blood relations).

 

In Islam, the bonds of milk-kinship are not merely legal constructs; they represent genuine familial ties that are recognized to be on par with those of blood kinship, fostering a deep sense of belonging and mutual respect. This equivalence is reflected in various aspects of social interaction. For instance, the prohibition of marriage between a man and his milk-mahram mirrors the prohibition with his blood-related mahram, emphasizing the close familial bond that exists. This prohibition reinforces the idea that milk-kinship creates a bond as strong as blood. Regarding the allowances for personal interaction and expressions of closeness, a man is permitted to see his milk-mahram without the hijab and observe her adornments, reflecting the same level of comfort and familial intimacy that exists with his blood-related mahram. Similarly, a man is permitted to show familial affection towards his milk-mahram, such as kissing and embracing, within appropriate boundaries, in the same manner that he would with his blood-related mahram. This shared level of intimacy and affection highlights the deep and meaningful connection established through milk-kinship.

Similarly, it is permissible for a woman to appear in front of her milk-mahram without needing to cover her hair and in comfortable, casual clothing typically worn indoors for comfort and privacy within domestic settings. This includes attire that may be slightly revealing, such as clothing that exposes the arms or legs below the knee. The hair constitutes a natural 'zeenah' (adornment) for a woman, which she is obligated to conceal from non-mahrams but is permitted to expose in front of all mahrams, including the milk-mahrams. Furthermore, she is permitted to uncover her breasts in front of her milk-mahram, especially in the context of breastfeeding her own child. This allowance highlights the intimate and familial nature of the milk-kinship relationship.

 

This principle is further illustrated by a tradition narrated by Al-Shafi’i in his “Musnad” on the authority of Zainab bint Abi Salamah. She recounted that she was breastfed by Asma, the wife of Al-Zubayr. Zainab stated: “I used to see him as a father, and he would enter upon me while I was combing my hair, and he would grab some of the locks of my hair (from behind) and say: turn to me.” This tradition vividly illustrates a level of familial affection, trust, and intimacy within the context of a well-established mahram relationship formed through breastfeeding. It portrays a comfortable and affectionate interaction between Al-Zubayr and Zainab, highlighting a deep sense of closeness, familial bond, and mutual respect that transcends biological ties. This example serves as a powerful testament to the strength and validity of milk-kinship in Islamic tradition.

The fact that Al-Zubayr, the husband of Zainab’s milk-mother, felt comfortable entering upon her while she was in a private setting, engaged in a personal activity like combing her hair, speaks volumes about the nature of their bond. His playful gesture of gently grabbing her hair and asking her to turn towards him further underscores the relaxed and affectionate atmosphere of their interaction. The tradition highlights that Al-Zubayr treated Zainab with the same affection and ease that a father would show his biological daughter, exemplifying the strength and validity of the bond created through breastfeeding.

This tradition vividly illustrates a profound level of familial affection, unwavering trust, and intimate connection within the defined boundaries of a mahram relationship. It portrays a comfortable and affectionate interaction between Al-Zubayr and Zainab, underscoring a deep sense of closeness and a firmly established familial bond. The gesture of Al-Zubayr gently touching Zainab's hair while she was combing it speaks volumes about the nature of their relationship. It demonstrates that such gestures were considered natural, appropriate, and entirely within the established boundaries of milk-kinship within the early Muslim community.

This specific example serves as a powerful and practical demonstration of the broader principles governing interactions between milk-mahrams. It reinforces the fundamental concept of equivalence between milk and blood relations in Islamic tradition, demonstrating that the same levels of respect, intimacy, and permissible interaction apply in both cases. The tradition highlights that Al-Zubayr treated Zainab with the same affection and ease that a father would show his biological daughter, exemplifying the strength and validity of the bond created through breastfeeding.

Furthermore, and of significant importance, this tradition also explicitly illustrates that it is permissible for a man to touch the zeenah of his female mahram. In Islamic terminology, zeenah refers to a woman's natural adornments, which include her hair and other natural features considered attractive. The fact that Al-Zubayr touched Zainab's hair while she was combing it clearly demonstrates the permissibility of such physical contact within the context of a mahram relationship, specifically within the context of milk-kinship. This clarification is crucial, as it dispels any potential ambiguity regarding the limits of permissible interaction between milk-mahrams. It establishes that touching the hair, a prominent aspect of a woman's natural adornment, is permissible for a milk-father with his milk-daughter, mirroring the permissibility of such contact within a blood relationship.