Creating Mahram relationship with women through Mutah
السؤال:امرأة متزوجة ولديها طباخ وسواق في المنزل وتريد ان يكون دخولهم في المنزل حلال عليها ولديها بنت عمرها خمس سنوات هل يجوز العقد على احد منهم او الاثنين سواء زواج مؤقت او دائم وهل زواج الطفلة بدون ان تفهم هي ذلك الزواج جائز؟
Ayatullah Shaikh Basheer Hussain Al-Najafy's Response:
In the name of Allah, the Most Gracious, the Most Merciful.
It is permissible to contract such a marriage if it is beneficial to the child, as it would be beneficial to yourself. This should be done with the permission of her father or paternal grandfather. The girl's marriage can be contracted first with one of them, and after the period of the temporary marriage is concluded, or the husband gifts the remaining period to the wife, her marriage can be contracted with the second person, observing the necessary conditions. Consequently, a mahram relationship is established between the mother of the girl and both individuals. She will be like a mother to them. And God knows best.
The question posed to Ayatullah Shaikh Basheer Hussain Al-Najafy addresses a common concern for Muslim women who employ male domestic staff, such as cooks and drivers. Islamic law outlines specific guidelines regarding interactions between men and women who are not related within certain degrees of kinship (non-mahram). These guidelines often involve observing hijab (modest dress and behavior) to maintain appropriate boundaries. The question specifically asks about a married woman with a five-year-old daughter seeking a solution to allow her to interact more freely with male staff within her home.
The Ayatullah's response offers a specific legal solution based on the principles of temporary marriage (Mut'ah). This solution aims to create a mahram relationship between the woman and her male staff, thereby removing the restrictions associated with interacting with non-mahram individuals.
The nature of their work often requires these staff members to be present within the central living spaces of the house for extended periods. Cooks and cleaners, for instance, must access and work in the kitchen, dining areas, and other common spaces, bringing them into frequent and close contact with the female members of the household, such as the employer's wife, daughters, and other female relatives. These interactions are not merely fleeting encounters but often involve extended periods of shared space and communication. The cook may need to discuss meal plans or dietary requirements, while the cleaner may require instructions or access to specific areas. This constant interaction creates a dynamic where maintaining strict adherence to traditional Islamic dress codes (hijab) can become exceptionally challenging.
Similarly, the role of a driver necessitates frequent interactions with the women of the household. Daily errands, school runs, appointments, and other routine activities require the driver to be in close proximity to the women, often in the confined space of a vehicle. These interactions are not limited to brief exchanges but may involve longer journeys and conversations. The constant presence of non-mahram men within the intimate space of the home and during daily activities creates a situation where the women of the household find it difficult, if not practically impossible, to maintain full and constant coverage of their hair and body in accordance with strict interpretations of hijab.
The constant vigilance required to maintain proper hijab in the presence of non-mahram male staff can create a persistent state of self-consciousness. Every movement, every gesture, becomes a potential source of anxiety, as the woman must constantly ensure that no part of her body is inadvertently exposed. This heightened awareness of one's appearance can be mentally and emotionally taxing, detracting from focus and hindering spontaneity. The need to avoid even unintentional physical contact or proximity further restricts natural interactions. Simple exchanges, such as handing an object to a staff member or passing them in a narrow hallway, require careful planning and execution to avoid any perceived impropriety. This constraint on natural interaction inevitably impacts communication. Providing clear instructions, discussing household matters, or simply engaging in casual conversation becomes a more deliberate and less fluid process. The woman may hesitate to speak freely or express herself fully, fearing that her tone or demeanor might be misinterpreted. It can also lead to a sense of isolation within one's own home, as the woman may feel unable to move freely or engage in casual interactions with those present.
By contracting a marriage between her prepubescent daughter and her male staff—whether it be the cleaner, cook, or driver—the woman effectively circumvents the aforementioned challenges associated with maintaining strict hijab. The woman would no longer be bound by the same restrictions of hijab in the presence of these men, as they would now be considered akin to sons-in-law. This would eliminate the constant fear of unintentional exposure and the need for perpetual vigilance regarding her attire. Consequently, she would be free to dress more comfortably within her home, potentially wearing clothing that exposes areas like her hair, neck, lower neckline, cleavage, arms, and calves, without the concern of violating Islamic guidelines. She could also relax her dress code to include more casual attire, such as nightgowns or shirts without a headscarf, reflecting a more relaxed domestic atmosphere. The constant vigilance and self-consciousness that previously characterized her interactions with male staff are eliminated, fostering a more relaxed and natural atmosphere within the household. This shift not only impacts her personal comfort and sense of ease but also transforms the overall dynamics of the home environment, allowing for more open and spontaneous interactions.
The establishment of a mahram relationship through the temporary marriage of the daughter, carries significant implications for the nature of interactions within the household. One notable aspect is the potential extension of permissible physical contact. Within Islamic guidelines, physical expressions of affection, such as kissing and hugging, are generally restricted to mahrams. By creating a mahram relationship with the male staff through the daughter's temporary marriage, the boundaries of permissible physical contact would expand to include them.
This could mean that the woman would be permitted to engage in forms of physical affection with the staff members similar to those she would share with close male relatives. This might include embracing them in a hug as a greeting or farewell, or offering a kiss on the cheek or forehead as a sign of familial affection. These actions, which would be considered inappropriate and impermissible in a non-mahram context, are presented as potentially acceptable within the framework of the newly established mahram status. This shift represents a significant change in the dynamics of the household, transforming the relationship from a formal and potentially distant employer-employee interaction to one characterized by greater intimacy and physical closeness, akin to that shared between family members.
Here are some examples of occasions or situations in which a woman might express affection through kissing or hugging her male staff within this familial context:
Warm Greetings Upon Arrival: When the cook or driver arrives for work in the morning, the woman might greet them with a warm hug and a kiss on the cheek, similar to how she would greet a son or brother returning home. This sets a positive and welcoming tone for the day, reinforcing the familial atmosphere. For example, as the driver pulls into the driveway after a long commute, she might come out to greet him with a bright smile, opening her arms for a brief hug and a light kiss on the cheek, saying, "Welcome back! How was the traffic?"
Celebrating Special Occasions: Birthdays, religious holidays (like Eid), or personal milestones (like a graduation or marriage in the staff member's family) would be natural occasions for expressing affection through hugs and kisses. These gestures would serve as a way to share in the joy and celebrate these important moments together. For instance, on the cook's birthday, the woman might present him with a small gift and offer a heartfelt hug and a kiss, saying, "Happy birthday, Ali! We're so happy to celebrate with you." Or, during Eid, she might embrace both the cook and the driver with hugs and kisses, offering her blessings and sharing in the festive spirit.
Offering Comfort During Difficult Times: If a staff member is experiencing a personal hardship, such as the illness of a family member or a personal loss, the woman might offer comfort and support through a comforting hug and a kiss on the shoulder or hand, conveying her empathy and concern. This demonstrates genuine care and strengthens the emotional bond within the household. For example, if the driver receives news of a sick relative, the woman might approach him with a gentle hug and a kiss on the hand, saying, "I'm so sorry to hear that. Please let me know if there's anything we can do to help."
Expressing Gratitude for Exceptional Service: If a staff member goes above and beyond their regular duties, the woman might express her gratitude with a heartfelt hug and a kiss on the cheek or forehead. This reinforces the value of their contributions and strengthens the bond of respect and appreciation. For instance, if the cook prepares a particularly elaborate and delicious meal for a special occasion, the woman might express her appreciation with a warm hug and a kiss on the cheek, saying, "That was absolutely incredible! Thank you so much for all your hard work."
Sharing Joyful News: When the woman receives good news, such as a family celebration or personal achievement, she might share her joy with the staff through celebratory hugs and kisses. This creates a sense of shared happiness and strengthens the feeling of camaraderie within the household. For example, if the woman's daughter achieves a significant milestone, she might share the news with the staff, offering celebratory hugs and kisses, saying, "We're so excited! She did it!"
Farewells and Departures: When a staff member is leaving for a short trip or at the end of their work day, the woman might offer a warm farewell hug and a kiss on the cheek or forehead, similar to how she would bid farewell to a family member. This reinforces the sense of connection and expresses care for their well-being. For example, as the driver prepares to leave for the day, she might walk him to the door, giving him a friendly hug and a kiss on the cheek, saying, "Have a safe drive home. We'll see you tomorrow."
Providing Encouragement During Challenges: If a staff member is facing a personal challenge or feeling discouraged, the woman might offer words of encouragement and support, accompanied by a reassuring hug and a kiss on the shoulder or hand. This demonstrates her care and reinforces the feeling of being part of a supportive family. For example, if the cook is feeling overwhelmed by a particularly demanding task, the woman might offer words of encouragement and a reassuring hug, saying, "You've got this! We know you can do it."
Spontaneous Expressions of Affection: In moments of shared laughter or lightheartedness, the woman might spontaneously express her affection through a quick hug or a playful kiss on the cheek, similar to how she would interact with close family members. These spontaneous gestures reinforce the warm and relaxed atmosphere within the household. For instance, if the staff and the woman are sharing a lighthearted joke, she might spontaneously give a quick hug to one of the staff members, laughing, "You're so funny!"
Celebrating Personal Milestones of Staff: If a staff member achieves a personal milestone, such as graduating from a course, getting married, or having a child, the woman would celebrate with them, offering warm hugs and kisses as a sign of genuine congratulations and shared happiness. This reinforces the sense of family and demonstrates genuine care for their well-being beyond their employment. For example, if the driver announces his engagement, the woman might offer enthusiastic congratulations with a warm hug and a kiss on the cheek, saying, "That's wonderful news! We're so happy for you!"
Expressing Appreciation for Daily Contributions: Even for routine tasks and regular service, the woman might express her appreciation with a simple hug or a kiss on the cheek, acknowledging their daily contributions to the smooth running of the household. This reinforces the value of their work and strengthens the bond of mutual respect and appreciation. For example, after the cook prepares a delicious breakfast, the woman might offer a quick hug and a kiss on the cheek, saying, "Thank you for the wonderful breakfast! It was just what I needed."
The cleaners, cooks, or drivers, often coming from less privileged socioeconomic backgrounds and occupying lower social strata, could experience a significant boost in self-esteem and a sense of validation. Being treated as family members, rather than simply hired help, could be profoundly impactful. This newfound sense of belonging and acceptance could lead to increased feelings of self-worth, dignity, and respect.
The staff members, accustomed to a more formal and potentially impersonal relationship with their employer, would likely feel flattered and respected by this integration into the family. This sense of being valued and appreciated could foster a strong sense of loyalty and dedication. They would be more likely to reciprocate the trust and kindness shown to them, contributing to a harmonious and positive household environment.
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