Creating Mahram relationship with women through Mutah
السؤال:امرأة متزوجة ولديها طباخ وسواق في المنزل وتريد ان يكون دخولهم في المنزل حلال عليها ولديها بنت عمرها خمس سنوات هل يجوز العقد على احد منهم او الاثنين سواء زواج مؤقت او دائم وهل زواج الطفلة بدون ان تفهم هي ذلك الزواج جائز؟
Ayatullah Shaikh Basheer Hussain Al-Najafy's Response:
In the name of Allah, the Most Gracious, the Most Merciful.
It is permissible to contract such a marriage if it is beneficial to the child, as it would be beneficial to yourself. This should be done with the permission of her father or paternal grandfather. The girl's marriage can be contracted first with one of them, and after the period of the temporary marriage is concluded, or the husband gifts the remaining period to the wife, her marriage can be contracted with the second person, observing the necessary conditions. Consequently, a mahram relationship is established between the mother of the girl and both individuals. She will be like a mother to them. And God knows best.
The question presented to Ayatullah Shaikh Basheer Hussain Al-Najafy addresses a prevalent concern among Muslim women who employ male domestic staff, such as servants, cooks, and drivers. Islam imposes strict guidelines on interactions between men and women who are not mahrams—individuals unrelated by blood or marriage. Women are required to cover their hair and body with a full hijab in the presence of non-mahrams and are prohibited from being in khilwah, or seclusion, with them. The inquiry concerns a married woman who employs a non-mahram cook and driver. She must work alongside the cook in the kitchen within her home, where maintaining a complete hijab from head to toe feels both burdensome and impractical in the private sanctuary of her own residence. Freely interacting with the cook or driver, as non-mahrams, would be deemed inappropriate within the context of Islamic principles. To resolve this, she proposes a solution: she will become their mother-in-law by arranging a mutah—a temporary marriage—²—between her five-year-old daughter and these men.The Ayatullah's response offers a specific legal solution based on the principles of temporary marriage (Mut'ah). This solution aims to create a mahram relationship between the woman and her male staff, thereby removing the restrictions associated with interacting with non-mahram individuals.
The nature of their work often requires these staff members to be present within the central living spaces of the house for extended periods. Cooks and cleaners, for instance, must access and work in the kitchen, dining areas, and other common spaces, bringing them into frequent and close contact with the female members of the household, such as the employer's wife, daughters, and other female relatives. These interactions are not merely fleeting encounters but often involve extended periods of shared space and communication. The cook may need to discuss meal plans or dietary requirements, while the cleaner may require instructions or access to specific areas. This constant interaction creates a dynamic where maintaining strict adherence to traditional Islamic dress codes (hijab) can become exceptionally challenging.
Similarly, the role of a driver necessitates frequent interactions with the women of the household. Daily errands, school runs, appointments, and other routine activities require the driver to be in close proximity to the women, often in the confined space of a vehicle. These interactions are not limited to brief exchanges but may involve longer journeys and conversations. The constant presence of non-mahram men within the intimate space of the home and during daily activities creates a situation where the women of the household find it difficult, if not practically impossible, to maintain full and constant coverage of their hair and body in accordance with strict interpretations of hijab.
The constant vigilance required to maintain proper hijab in the presence of non-mahram male staff can create a persistent state of self-consciousness. Every movement, every gesture, becomes a potential source of anxiety, as the woman must constantly ensure that no part of her body is inadvertently exposed. This heightened awareness of one's appearance can be mentally and emotionally taxing, detracting from focus and hindering spontaneity. The need to avoid even unintentional physical contact or proximity further restricts natural interactions. Simple exchanges, such as handing an object to a staff member or passing them in a narrow hallway, require careful planning and execution to avoid any perceived impropriety. This constraint on natural interaction inevitably impacts communication. Providing clear instructions, discussing household matters, or simply engaging in casual conversation becomes a more deliberate and less fluid process. The woman may hesitate to speak freely or express herself fully, fearing that her tone or demeanor might be misinterpreted. It can also lead to a sense of isolation within one's own home, as the woman may feel unable to move freely or engage in casual interactions with those present.
By arranging a temporary marriage (mut’ah) between her young daughter and the male staff—such as the cook, driver, or cleaner—the woman fundamentally transforms her relationship with them in a way that aligns with Islamic legal principles. As their mother-in-law, she attains the status of a mahram, a designation that liberates her from the stringent obligation to observe hijab in their presence, a requirement otherwise mandated for interactions with non-mahram men. This profound shift grants her newfound freedom within the sanctity of her home, allowing her to dress in a manner that prioritizes comfort and practicality over the constraints of traditional modesty. She might opt for casual attire, such as a loose-fitting shirt paired with relaxed pants, or even a flowing nightgown, without the need to cover her hair, arms, or legs. Beyond this, her chest and cleavage—areas typically concealed from non-mahrams—can also remain exposed in their presence without incurring any sin, as the mahram relationship nullifies the prohibitions that apply to unrelated men.
This freedom extends to natural movements and everyday actions within the household. For instance, if she bends down to retrieve an item from the floor—perhaps a dropped utensil in the kitchen or a toy in the living room—and her loose shirt shifts, causing the neckline to gap and reveal her breasts or even her nipples, there is no religious fault or impropriety in the servant inadvertently witnessing this. Unlike with non-mahrams, where such an occurrence might necessitate immediate covering and could provoke discomfort or guilt, the mahram bond renders it inconsequential. She is not required to drape a scarf, dupatta, or any additional covering over her chest to obscure the natural prominence of her breasts beneath her shirt, nor must she adjust her posture or attire to preempt such visibility. This absence of obligation reflects the familial intimacy established through the marriage arrangement, akin to the ease she might feel in the presence of a brother or son.
The establishment of mahram relationships with the household’s domestic servants through mutah also confers all the privileges associated with blood mahrams. These servants are now indistinguishable from the woman’s biological son or brother. Beyond mere visual interaction, physical touch and closeness for the purpose of expressing familial love and affection not only become permissible but are also encouraged. The woman can now express her affection for them—greeting them with a kiss on the forehead or cheeks, or embracing them upon meeting or parting—without reservation. Similarly, these servants may hold her hands, shake hands with her, kiss, or hug her without needing to seek permission. Such displays of familial affection are not only permissible with mahrams but are also actively encouraged, as these individuals are now regarded as family members.
Celebrating Special Occasions: Birthdays, religious holidays (such as Eid), or personal milestones (like a graduation or marriage in a male staff member’s family) are natural occasions for exchanging hugs and kisses between the woman and her male domestic staff. This strengthens both the familial bond and the working relationship. For example, upon the birth of the cook’s son, the woman might present him with a small gift or a bonus and congratulate him with a heartfelt hug and a kiss. Alternatively, on Eid, with her hair uncovered and adorned with makeup and perfume, she may embrace the servant—whether the cook or the driver—with close hugs and kisses, offering her blessings and sharing the joy of the occasion.
Offering Comfort During Difficult Times: If a staff member is facing personal hardship, such as the illness of a family member or a loss, the woman might offer comfort and support through a tight, comforting hug and a kiss on the shoulder or hand, conveying her empathy and concern. This deepens their emotional bond. For instance, if the driver receives news of a sick relative, the woman might approach him with a gentle hug to console him, saying, “I’m so sorry to hear that. Please let me know if there’s anything we can do to help.”
Expressing Gratitude for Exceptional Service: If a staff member exceeds their regular duties, the woman might show her gratitude with a heartfelt hug and a kiss on the cheek or forehead. This reinforces the value of their contributions and fosters mutual respect and appreciation. For example, if the cook prepares an especially elaborate and delicious meal for a special occasion, the woman might express her thanks with a kiss on the cheek.
Farewells and Departures: When a staff member is leaving for a short trip or at the end of their workday, the woman might offer a warm farewell hug and a kiss on the cheek or forehead, much like she would with a family member. This reinforces their connection and expresses care for their well-being. For instance, as the driver prepares to leave for the day, she might walk him to the door, giving him a familial warm hug and a kiss on the cheek, saying, “Have a safe drive home. We’ll see you tomorrow.”
Cleaners, cooks, or drivers, often from less privileged socioeconomic backgrounds and lower social strata, may experience a significant boost in self-esteem and a sense of validation through the forging of a mahram bond with their employer’s wife. Being treated as family members rather than mere servants could have a profound impact. This newfound sense of belonging and acceptance might enhance their feelings of self-worth, dignity, and respect.
Staff members, accustomed to a more formal and potentially impersonal relationship with their employer, would likely feel flattered and respected by this integration into the family. This sense of being valued and appreciated could foster strong loyalty and dedication. They would be more inclined to reciprocate the trust and kindness shown to them, contributing to a harmonious and positive household environment.
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